All I want for Christmas is rest

This holiday season, I invite you to *Do Less*

About a week before Thanksgiving my sister told me a story about a meeting she had at her workplace where someone brought up a project that they suggested starting in December. Luckily, some hero said what everyone already knew but was too afraid to say: “December’s a wash - we’ll start in January.”

This, my friends, is the Holiday Spirit.

We all know this is the most wonderful stressful time of the year. Year-end work projects, holiday social obligations, holiday work obligations, holiday school obligations - and then as parents, you’re supposed to provide your children with priceless holiday memories. And you want to provide your kids with priceless holiday memories! You want to make the holidays special because you’re a loving parent and you want your child to have the best possible upbringing.

Plus the sun goes down at 4:30, so it’s like nature is telling us to rest, while society keeps moving at a somehow even faster pace than the rest of the year.

What I’m wondering is, parents, are you having any fun? Are you getting any rest? Or are you so full of stress that when you try to “relax” or “enjoy your free time” you go into a frozen state of guilt and never actually rest? Are you wondering “what free time is she even talking about?”

In the spirit of my message, I’m gonna keep this brief, but if nobody else says this to you, moms and dads, I want to give you the encouragement to DO LESS this season. This includes hiding the elf on the shelf in an elaborate scene, or whatever new trend parents have been guilted into participating in this year. This includes that one holiday party you’re dreading. This includes making Christmas cards, or stressing about getting them out before Christmas. This includes whatever’s on your list that you feel obligated to do, but you’re dreading. This DEFINITELY includes planning every second of your child’s school break with activities and magic, especially activities that come from the store.

There is beauty in letting your kids get bored and come up with their own holiday game or craft! There is magic in going for a neighborhood walk and letting them bring home some pine cones to make into a wreath. The act of helping you prepare special food and put up festive decorations with cheerful music in the background, the joy of being with family - that’s the good stuff! The only thing your children really need to feel the magic of the season is to spend time with you.

There is no beauty or magic in stress! And you deserve to have a happy holiday, too.

So this is my suggestion. Make a list of everything you want to do this holiday season - or for an ideal holiday season, with every tradition you want to share with your kids. Then make a list of all your external obligations - things other people want you to do. Sit with your lists, and take a few really slow, deep breaths into your heart, to tap into your inner wisdom. Let your heart tell you what’s really important to you, and try to drop some things from both lists - or maybe just save them for next year.

I’m not saying to drop all the obligations towards other people, because those can be important! But maybe when you see them all on paper, it will be a little clearer just how much you’re trying to do, and with that perspective, you might feel a little bit better about deciding to say no to a thing or two.

And before you dissolve into guilt for putting off a family tradition or two until next year, I want to tell you about a video I saw recently, posted by a parent who was clearly feeling guilty about her choices as a mom. The video is her with a slice of pizza in her hand, TV playing in the background, telling the camera that she gave her kids pizza for dinner because she’s a bad mom.

“No you’re not!” says a voice off the screen. “You’re a good mom!”

The mom stops and looks at her kid. You can hear the emotion in her little voice - she’s clearly upset to hear her mom talk about herself like that.

“Say it!” she insists.

Mom looks into the camera for a second, like, “Do you hear this?” Then she looks back at her daughter and says, seriously, with a quaver in her voice, “I’m a good mom.”

Do you know how much your kids love you? Do you have any idea?

Please, parents, stop being your own harshest critic. Give yourselves a break. Slow down, take a breath, and don’t forget that you’re supposed to have a happy holiday, too.

You’ve got this. Merry Christmas.